Contract

So it is the end of the semester meaning finals meaning i should be totally stressing out about ending my classes well and acing my finals, i'm not. yes, i do care that
i get good grades but i am not worried about it, i know i will be
fine.
what i am worried about it selling my contract.
i am obsessing.
hardcore.
i come home from school and i stare at my email,
hoping that someone has replied to my Craigslist ad or Ksl ad.
i seriously leave my gmail open just hoping for an email.
i replace the ads every 2 days about, sometimes everyday. i am freaking out.
if i don't sell my contract what will happen.
there are 3 scenarios i would like to present.
scenario a- i still go to Jerusalem and my contract
sells in January or February
scenario b- i don't go to Jerusalem
scenario c- i go to Jerusalem and my contract never sells,
25o0 dollars down the DRAIN
None of those options are really great.
scenario a takes a huge risk, what if the contract doesn't sell in January or February? then we will be stuck with scenario c which really sucks.
scenario b is just sad.
but the plus side of scenario b is that i would be done with school in
April.
that means i could move to AZ with Grantler :) and then
do my internship and get my degree.
i don't think i am willing to take the risk of losing 25oo dollars
if my contract doesn't sell.
i think i will not go to Jerusalem if
my contract doesn't sell by December 22nd.
December 22nd is the day that is 2 weeks from departure.
if i cancel 2 weeks from departure
than i just owe my deposit and flight cancellation fee.
i just wish my contract would sell.
i have been trying to sell it since
September.
WOW.
my landlords aren't being very helpful about it either.
people are selfish, especially landlords.
they don't care about circumstances, they
just want your money. end of story.
anyway sorry for being a downer.
the good news is that i met with my epidemiology group tonight
and i feel good about our group presentation.
my group members are nice so that was good.
and it only lasted like 45 minutes
tonight i made chili for dinner with a lime squeezed in it.
my friend, Hayden, from my freshman year
would always make that.
it makes canned chili 50 times better.
i like chili.
and chile.
especially the green kind!
ha
today i made a hot fudge pudding cake.
yummo.
it wasn't as good as the cannon centers though ha
surprisingly.
still delish.
i probably gained 10 pounds from it. oh well!
i think i will go eat more....
hhmmm
i love blogging.
it is my journal.
it doesn't make my hand hurt though when i type at a billion words a minute like it does when i write by hand, i always get a cramp in my hand!
i am sorry i don't put many pictures up but i just don't take many,
i only take them when grantler and i are together, and
besides it takes so long for them to load.
not worth it.
i wonder what my Heavenly Father has planned for me.
is my contract not selling a sign that i am not supposed to
go to Jerusalem?
it would be really wise to get my schooling done.
or maybe it is a trial of how much do i really want to go to Jerusalem.
i can tell you that i don't want to go wasting 2500 dollars
worth.
that is just insane.
insane.
i want to go home for the summer though.
so i would have to get someone to buy my summer contract which is really hard.
but who knows.
i hate when my life is up in the air, it is the
most uncomfortable feeling.
i need to trust in my Heavenly Father.
i feel like i am taking action, i am doing my part;
i just need to keep being proactive.
we will see from there...